Category Archives: Games

Battlefield: Hardline and the story of: “Can I play one game that’s not fucking broken?”

Like, fucking seriously? This is 4th game that I dragged out of my backlog that’s a fucking broken clusterfuck.

First one being just starting this stupid game. Click the shortcut and it opens fucking browser. Then you click PLAY and it goes on next page. And you click PLAY again and game finally starts running. Gotta love EA and their dumb Battlelog. How about just starting the damn game directly without stupid browser?

I also just love games that allow you to bind own keys, but show hardcoded in-game keys as “hints” when playing. Like for example arresting people in Hardline. Apparently “Melee” key is for making arrests and it’s bind to “F” by default. I have it bind to “Mouse Wheel Down”. But when I approach the suspects that I need to arrest, game displays “F” in a square. I’ve seen this in games before and it’s fucking stupid. Especially when you have a fuck ton of special dedicated keys and then you’re digging through settings just to see what the fuck you actually have bind to that action.  Idiotic.

The next gem is FOV slider that literally does nothing. When setting up the game I moved it to 110 which is what I usually use for FPS games and when playing, everything felt so awkwardly in-my-face. Moved slider to 120 and still the same. Then I stood in front of objects to see if it actually changes when adjusted. And the in-game image stayed the same… Come the fuck on EA, you manage to add a FOV slider, but then it does fucking nothing. O_o

As cherry on top, the game runs at locked 144fps, but when I was driving around in the “cut scene”, game feels all choppy and mouse look sluggish as fuck like it’s running at locked 30fps. I check my monitor refresh on its OSD and it says it’s 144Hz (which means 144fps because of FreeSync). This dumbass game somehow runs at 144fps, but actually samples animations at 30fps. How?! How the fuck can you go out of your way to design such a stupid shit EA? How? I’ve actually never seen such a dumb thing in any game to this date. They either ran at locked 30fps, but I’ve never seen one that runs at 144fps but feels like 30fps because that’s what’s actually being rendered at.

All this before I actually started playing the fucking thing properly. Fucking hell. Now I don’t know if I should continue torturing myself or just uninstall this pile of shit…

Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare movement with arrow keys is fucked up

Now I’m starting to notice a trend with something… It’s games I unknowingly kept in my backlog for years. Max Payne 3, Alpha Protocol, Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare… coz when gaming gods fuck me in the ass, they really go full force.

After I lost interest in Alpha Protocol because of stupid broken hacking “mini game” well knowing it’ll be this jarring trash experience every time I’ll have to hack any system, I dropped it and picked up Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare that was still waiting in my backlog. I mean, how can one fuck up CoD right? Well, they managed to do just that…

I’m old school gamer, back when we played games with arrow keys. And it stuck with me. I don’t like bunch of keys crowded underneath my fingers and arrow keys with surrounding keys with just enough space around provide comfort gaming for my big hands. Been doing just fine for almost 3 decades with some issues here and there. But I really haven’t had them for quite a while and certainly not in AAA games. Usually some indie games or from some B studios that had poor QA or whatever.

Well, started playing Infinite Warfare and I noticed how weird movement is. It’s like keys have a 500 millisecond pause in some cases, especially when trying to move diagonally with forward and left/right pressed at the same time. It’s really awkward and clumsy, like the legs aren’t connected to your body correctly or something. It’s really bad. So I searched online and apparently this is a known thing. Well, it was when game was released and apparently, nothing has changed in 2021.

Tried using WASD and behold, disconnected legs are not a thing anymore. Set back arrow keys and legs are behaving like they are all twisted and tangled up again. What the fuck? How can one fuck up a game in a way that actions you can bind to any key don’t behave the same depending on keys you use? WHAAAAAAAAAT? And to make matter worse, not fucking fix it at all?

EDIT:

Well, in the end I made a fix for a fuckup Infinity Ward couldn’t be bothered to fix.

DOWNLOAD

CODIW Arrow Keys Fix

Alpha Protocol’s hacking is the most retarded thing I’ve seen in any game

From Max Payne 3’s roller coaster of retardation, here comes Alpha Protocol. What started as pretty interesting almost Deus Ex experience, quickly turned into a fucking rage fest on first hacking attempt.

Seriously, what absolute moron designed this shit? I don’t mind puzzles and I’ve seen many through years, but this one, this one is just pure distilled retardation.

A screen of flying numbers and letters and you need to spot some that don’t move and place them there. The one you move with keyboard is sort of a non issue as you can quickly tap it across with directional keys and confirm it, the issue with it is because some dumb twat thought controlling the second code with god damn mouse was a great idea. Not only the code isn’t under mouse cursor so you could quickly move it around and place it where you want it, no the fucking thing moves across the field like a slug that’s in no fucking hurry, with massive delay and it’s so wonky and inaccurate that before I move that shit to the right place, the code gets re-positioned already and I’m suppose to move this craptastic slow shit elsewhere? WHAT. THE. FUCK? Trying this dumb crap for like 10 attempts and I just can’t hack this dumb fuckery because it’s so impossibly clumsy.

Why couldn’t this dumb shit just be entirely controlled by keyboard? Move on, confirm it and then continue with second one. Or was this meant to be done simultaneously with both “controllers” or something? By who? Fucking cross eyed Flash Gordon who can go so fast to stop literal time? Or just two segments of keyboard, WASD and NUMPAD or something. Anything but this nonsense.

I was already excited I uncovered an old gem that was stuck in my Steam backlog for years just to have the experience totally fucked up with one simple “minigame”. Some say it’s much easier with a gamepad, but fuck me, I’m not playing this thing with no gamepad. God damn it.

Max Payne 3 is a max pain to play

So, 9 years after its release and I finally managed to fire this thing up and finish the trilogy once and for all. Just to be monumentally disappointed by the game. It’s so bad I don’t even know where to begin…

Controls are just straight out moronic with unnecessarily over-complicated movement controls. Who the fuck thought having all these separate actions for crouching, rolling, vaulting while simultaneously merging Jump action to a vault for no god damn reason, stupid cover mechanics with yet another key, idiotic weapons handling with forced two handed weapon feeling like an afterthought, totally meaningless dual gun selection to forced and idiotic “last kill save” where killing someone in special Bullet Time automatically uses Painkillers for some reason. And then just decides to lay around on the ground. Like, come on!?!??!?!?

To further make matters worse they give you some sort of achievements by collecting clues and golden gun pieces just for game to constantly push you around through cut scenes, so you don’t even have time or chance to explore. The biggest nonsense that happened to me so far was that bar flashback scene where I went on exploring, notice a golden piece up above in room with pool table and suddenly my “buddy” gets shot in the face to death and game ends. Next reload I decide to kill the gringos so they don’t shoot him in the face again and return back for the piece. Nope, the doors behind me get locked for no reason preventing me to go back and pick up that golden gun piece I wanted before. Fuck me.

Entire combat is just so lame and forced it feels worse than Virtua Cop from 24 years ago. Every step through a door is a fucking cut scene and after every such fucking cut scene is a gun fight. And in every such gun fight, when it begins, you’re not holding the gun you were actually holding before that. When in cover, the microscopic dot crosshair is not visible so every time you lift yourself from the cover it takes half an hour before stupid crosshair appears so you’re waving around like an idiot trying to even figure out where you’re pointing at and aim at bad guys like a drunk cop on drugs with pencil stuck in your eye. What absolute moron designed this game!? It’s fucking terrible.

Now I need to drag myself through this trainwreck just to finish it and be done with it forever. It really shows it wasn’t done by Remedy Entertainment and it’s a disgrace for the franchise. What I don’t understand is how Rockstar Games managed to fuck it up so badly…

Dead Space 3 auto-save system is a pathetic trash designed by a moron

After years (8 years to be exact) of letting Dead Space 3 sit there in the backlog, I finally started playing it. And I want to know who was the motherfucker who designed this shit ass fucking garbage auto-save system in this game? The game is actually pretty decent after I slammed some ray tracing on it and fixed moronic narrow FOV, but my god, the saving is so stupid I think I’m gonna kill myself.

Yesterday I was playing that planet side complex right after I got the Arctic rig suit. The one where you get the access card in the basement with those creepy skinny cannibal creatures and then need to backtrack a bit. I’ve played it for really long, upgraded stuff, harvested resources with bots and progressed really far into the complex. But it was 1 in the morning so I “Save and quit” the game. Today I return to it and this motherfucking dumbass game last saved on the exit from the other building where I picked the Artic suit in the basement. Fucking shit didn’t even save when I entered the complex you had to backtrack to. And it didn’t save at ANY point through that complex and I had like 10 huge creature encounters and did bunch of stuff. Not only that, it saved at the moment when 3 monsters jump me right after it loads. Fuck you EA. Don’t call a button “Save and exit” when it fucking doesn’t save a damn thing. WHAT THE SERIOUS FUCK!? This is why everyone hates stupid auto save systems, because in 99% of the time they all suck ass. I rather be manually quick saving every fucking minute than being set back so far that you lose all interest to even play it again. It says it saves the inventory. Yeah ok, who gives a shit, I need to go through kilometers of some level because your fucking saving is retarded. Fuck me. I had to get this out of my system…

Shadow of Tomb Raider sound stuttering and skipping fix

After finally getting RTX 3080 card, I could finally get around finishing the latest game Tomb Raider trilogy. Just to find out the game’s sound in Shadow of Tomb Raider begins to stutter and skip horribly after playing it for few minutes and is even worse when using AirPods 2 where it starts stuttering and skipping right away.

For some dumb reason, this problem happens because game is running at too low process priority. Most games don’t have issues running at Normal process priority. I haven’t ever seen any other somewhat modern game have problems with this actually! However, Shadow of Tomb Raider requires you to elevate SOTTR.exe to High process priority and sound issues go away immediately.

Another gem is, if you Alt-Tab Shadow of Tomb Raider to change process priority in Task Manager, the game then drops refresh rate to 50Hz. So you have to fix that every time you adjust process priority of the game.

I’ve created a tool to specifically address such issues, called Permanent Process Priority Tool and you can download it here. Download the tool, within it browse for SOTTR.exe inside Shadow of Tomb Raider game folder, select HIGH process priority for it and apply it. This will fix audio stuttering and skipping permanently and will apply High process priorrity on game every time you run it.

Excuse my ignorance, but how can game from 2018 have such massive problems because of something this basic? Process priority. HOW?!

How to fix Tomb Raider – Anniversary “Unable to load profile” error

If you’re one of those people who play games over long periods of time (huge game backlogs and stuff 😛 ) and you reinstall Windows or games in between, but want to continue using old save files, sometimes problems happen. I remember Need for Speed: Carbon having such problem where save file had to be from your created profile, otherwise it refused to load it (which is dumb design, but oh well). And Tomb Raider Anniversary is joining that party. Been a while when I decided to play Tomb Raider franchise through and ended up at Anniversary. Loaded it up today and it refused to load the profile with error “Unable to load profile”. Looked up online and only found bunch of people complaining over same thing with no fix. So I figured it out myself.

Here’s how to fix it…

Start the game, get the error, dismiss it and create new profile with different name than your old one. Just call it “NEW”.

Go to game’s profiles folder:

C:\Users\YOUR_USERNAME\Documents\Eidos\Tomb Raider – Anniversary\

Look for your old profile, open the folder and just copy ALL the file from your old profile into folder “NEW” (overwrite all files) which is the newly created profile we just created few moments ago. Rename your old profile folder to “OLD” so you’ll know for the next time which is which.

Now go back into game and load the “NEW” profile. The game should load it up without any errors.

Enjoy 🙂

Doom Eternal is a complete disaster

I never thought I’ll witness this day, but thanks to Bethesda, I have… They managed to cock up Doom.

Remember how Doom used to be a synonym for going guns blazing, holding fire button down without taking a break until trails of dead demons were piled behind you? It’s a game franchise that inspired entire genre around it with games like Serious Sam, Bulletstorm and many others. Well, lets just say none of that is in Doom Eternal. Some jackass thought it would be a good idea to give you ridiculously tiny ammo carrying capacity (you can carry total 16 rounds for a shotgun and 40 for machinegun!) so they could shoehorn stupid chainsaw mechanic into the game. So you end up in this stupid perpetual cycle of shooting few rounds, then you’re forced to use moronic chainsaw mechanic close up to replenish the ammo so you can shoot those few rounds again. And while you’re chasing demons to chainsaw them down, you’re getting hurt hard because you need to be in their faces all the time and you can’t even keep them at distance which was the whole point of this genre. Hordes that you keep away with the power of lead, explosives and hot plasma.

Then you realize even the lowest tier demons hurt you like hell, but when you melee bash them, it feels like a gentle nudge. I don’t get it, I apparently have a retractable blade on my left arm, but it’s never used unless it’s a specific glory kill. Constantly being without ammo, with no unlimited ammo basic pistol like in Doom 2016 and with entirely useless melee attack, this game is such an incredible chore to play because you’re constantly forced to use this annoying dumb chainsaw mechanic and I only played it for 1 hour before refunding this hot garbage. Couldn’t risk giving it a “chance” and losing ability to refund this crap. Like, my god Bethesda, how did you manage to fuck it up so badly with a single gameplay mechanic. HOW?!

And to make matters double worse, I said, while I’m waiting for a refund, I’m gonna try Doom 64 that I got as a pre-order “gift”. Fire up Doom 64 and for fucks sake, what absolute jackass designed keybinding menu? I literally couldn’t bind basic move forward/backward and strafe left/right to arrow keys which I always use to play games. It kept insisting to have turn left/right and strafe left/right on same keys. So in game I ended up always turn strafing to one or the other side in a really bizarre way. How does one fuck up key binding so badly for fucks sake. And the more I wanted to change the keys, the more keys just kept stacking up under one action instead of clearing existing one like in every other game.

This has to be the worst release of this year easily and possibly even this whole decade. Do NOT buy this game. It’s nothing like fantastic Doom from 2016. It’s not even anything like Doom… I might give it another chance and force my way through stupid chainsaw ammo replenishing mechanic when it’s in a bargain bin for 5€. Shouldn’t take long to lose its value given how they cocked it up…

Need for Speed developers don’t understand the point of cops in the game

This was suppose to be a NFS Heat review, but since I haven’t finished the game yet for reasons you’ll read below, I’ve decided not to make it a full review, but a rant about cops mechanic in the game that entirely ruined what looked like near perfect game…

I’ve been in love with the concept of racing and cops basically since the original The Need for Speed back in the early 90’s even though they only had to overtake you to bust you and that was it, the only mechanic in the game. I’ve played racing games a lot back then since 90’s were the golden era of racing games and the one problem they all had before and they still have to this very day if cops are not present is that they become repetitive and boring very easily and very quickly. It’s also one of reasons why I just never liked F1 games or “racing simulators” or quasi simulators like Forza, because they always end up being these dull repetitive real world circuits racing by holding same perfect line every lap, for 50 laps. Or whatever. Yawn.

Some time has passed and NFS3 Hot Pursuit arrived back in 1998 and that’s when EVERYTHING changed (now you know my fascination over NFS3). The game had amazing selection of sports cars and you could download more of them made by fans. Hundreds of them. It also had absolutely amazing circuit tracks with various elevation changes, shortcuts and were thematically unique. Countryside highways, futuristic cities, desert canyons, snowy summits, beautiful coastline cliffs in the sunset, the lot. And it also had cops. That cherry on top X factor that made game so diverse with every race I can still fire it up today and have fun with it despite knowing exactly how each car feels and handles, every corner of every track, but I never know where and how exactly I’ll have cops getting in the way, something no other game could offer before. When you learned other racing games, they became boring because you just drive the track in best line you know it works and other racers just weren’t a distraction enough to matter. But with cops, every race is just tiny bit different. You interact with cops at different points of the track, you interact with them in different ways and they used different methods, so while not a groundbreaking change to the concept of racing, they were this random modifier within the game that wasn’t a focal point and wasn’t absolute annoyance, it was just sort of there to spice things up. And this trend basically continued through out the NFS franchise till EA handed over development to their internal studio named Ghost Games. Apparently a team of game developers that hasn’t played a single NFS game in existence and develop NFS games based on description made by someone who also never played any NFS game. Coz they just feel exactly like that in the end.

When NFS 2015 was released, the “reboot” to the NFS series, there were cops in free roam. And I was excited. I remembered all the fun and exciting moments I had with NFS Most Wanted 2005 and NFS Carbon as well as many games before. Just to be let down entirely by how worthless cops were. I had a stock starting car and I could shake off cops in matter of seconds and as soon as you upgraded the car they were basically non existent. They hardly had any presence in races and they were so useless in Free Roam it felt like they don’t even exist, basically eliminating the X factor cherry on top, exactly what cops were suppose to be in the game. All they had to do is tweak few parameters about cops and it could be perfect. But they never bothered and just kept the game in its broken boring state. The game was so boring I never finished it. Guess who made it. Yup, it was Ghost Games.

Then NFS Payback was released. Again by Ghost. They didn’t even bother to have cops in free roam because of all the criticisms of worthless stupid cops in NFS 2015. They appeared in scripted races where their presence was basically pre-coded and when triggering “loot boxes” around the map. Otherwise they didn’t exist. Game was plagued by other problems like cars locked into classes and upgrading with absurd slot machine mechanic. I’ve finished it, but the thing was so forgettable and boring it’s one of the worse NFS games of all times.

People wanted cops in free roam for the next game after NFS Payback. And we demanded them to actually mean something, not like in NFS 2015. And Ghost Games being Ghost Games, they’ve gone totally overboard in NFS Heat (current latest NFS game released in Nov 2019), making cops these absurd absolutely obviously cheating god like fuckers that ruin the whole game because they’ve decided to make them a fucking focal point of the game. And I was like my fucking god, you morons don’t have the slightest clue why cops exist in NFS games. Focal point of NFS games should always be racing and exotic cars. Cops were always a thing in the game that was just sort of there that spiced things up and brought randomization factor. Not here. I’m 26 hours into the NFS Heat game and I currently have a 1000 HP Mitsubishi Evo X and apparently, that’s still not enough to actually even have any fun interaction with cops because they are so stupid overpowered they chase you at lightning speeds at only Heat 3 (there are 5 heat levels and 5th being highest) and these Heat levels seem to escalate too quickly before you can even shake off cheating cops whole games becomes an absolute god damn chore to play. And you need to go against cops during Night Time because that gives you REP points which you need to actually unlock higher tier performance parts so you can buy them with money earned during Day Time. So, you’re literally forced to do this chore of dealing with motherfucking cheating cops that are so freaking not fun to interact with. And to make matters worse, apparently when you upgrade the car to level 400 and above, cops become too easy. Or so I heard from others, it’s downright chore to play this game so I’m not in a rush to play or upgrade cars in it…

So, Ghost managed to create a game that’s dreadful to play until you get everything to a certain level and when you get past that level the game becomes boring. And there is this tiny window within the entire game where you have like 5% of actual fun coz then you soon have 400+ level car and it’s boring. And I can’t believe how they fucked up the game with 1 (ONE!) elemental rookie design mistake which they’ll never fix because they just playing don’t give a shit. Player car damage. Just this one single fucking detail in the game fucks up the whole game so badly it’s literally unplayable and considered anything but fun, hours into the game.

Currently, player has a limited health and if cops beat you enough, you lose health, get wrecked and as a result, busted. Which is a problem because cops feel and behave like you’re playing against a player online who’s not hiding the fact he’s using all the possible cheats that exist. That’s how NFS Heat cops feel like. Oh, you have a 1000 HP tuned Mitsubishi, pheeeeh, doesn’t matter, those shit ass Crown Victoria police cars can keep up with you easily. And so can higher heat level Chevy Corvettes, that on paper have up to 600 HP, but somehow keep up with absolute ease with a way more powerful car you have. Because they just so blatantly cheat.

And this cheating wouldn’t even be a problem on any level if you couldn’t get wrecked with such absolute ease. I’d even encourage them to be stupidly aggressive, at least it would mean you’d really have to try hard to evade them and since you’d not be limited by health, you’d at least try to work something out even if you were pushed around like a pinball. But not in this game. Health goes down and you just kept on getting busted. Game after game. To a point it’s just not even fun to even play it and becomes this thing you want to avoid. There is no thrill because you already know in advance interaction with cops means almost certainly you’ll get busted. Opposed to all the NFS games from the past where your chances of evasion were WAY higher although you could still get busted if you were stupid. But it was fine. Cops are meant to be the randomizing factor and something that spices things up, not something that sucks all the fun out of the game. And that’s exactly what they do in NFS Heat. They suck absolutely all fun out of the game.

To make matters further worse is how cops behave as whole. In basically all NFS games, if you were speeding, cops reacted to that. Here, you can drive 300km/h past a stationary or driving cop during Day Time and they won’t react. At all. During Night Time, you can do the same 300km/h thing past them and for as long as your Heat level is 0, they won’t react. Have just Heat 1 and they’ll go after you with entire arsenal of cheating bullshit tricks. I was like, hey guys, what’s the deal with cops not reacting and apparently, that’s “by design”. A design that makes cops not behave like you’d expect cops to behave. They are just there not doing anything unless you straight up crash into them. Which is basically never unless you purposely do it.

And what’s even more shocking is how every time you comment and criticize this absolutely garbage design on NFS subreddit, there are a always smartass morons who say “uh oh git gud and learn to drive noob”. Bitch, I was probably playing NFS games before you were even born and you’re gonna be saying this smug shit to my face? You don’t fucking have a clue what the purpose of the cops is in this game and you have no clue how good cops would and should feel like in the game. And I can tell they most certainty shouldn’t be this fuckery we have in NFS Heat. It made otherwise well designed game and turned it into absolute unfun (I made this word specifically for this game) horseshit.

And all because stupid Ghost couldn’t leave fucking player health out of the game that would ensure epic massive chases and doing so would eliminate cops being a problem with their absurd cheating. Hell, it wouldn’t even be a problem if they made them even more absurd at Heat 5 level just to keep things interesting long term.

I still just can’t understand how they fucked up NFS Heat game as whole so badly just by fucking up the design of cops. Graphics are amazing, the city is beautifully crafted, cars handle well and just feel good to drive and there are tons of them, sensation of speed is amazing , sound design is amazing and there is a lot to do on the map from collecting Street Art, collecting flamingos, smashing billboards, doing long jumps, there are alright races across different map even though Ai players suck pretty badly and they brought back normal car upgrading and tuning. It’s becoming a well rounded package at this point. And then they put these bullshit cops into the game and fuck it all up to a point it’s one of the worst NFS games I’ve played in my life because the fun factor is down in the shitter. HOW?! How could you people fuck up a game that could actually be one of the best NFS games in decades to a point it’s actually one of the worst ones of all times. You really have to commit and go out of your way to fuck something up this badly with just one aspect of the game that drags everything around it all the way to the bottom. And all this could be solved by either eliminating the player health or just make cops that are actually capable of being cops and not be this blatant obvious cheaters. And since fixing the second would require a lot of effort, removing player health should be the approach. But I already know for a fact this will never happen…

Blizzard is lying about “inappropriate language” suspensions in Overwatch

At first I thought people in Overwatch are such oversensitive bitches that they report anyone and everyone for any word they say regardless of context, but today after I’ve tested this to prove it (I’ve been suspended so many times I don’t give a shit if it’s one more time just to prove it) and I’ve seen it’s all bullshit.

When you get suspended for “inappropriate” language in chat they say “You’ve been suspended because several players have reported you for inappropriate language blablabla”. Where in reality, there was no players reporting anyone. Maybe some, but it’s really their automated bullshit system just counting the amount of “nasty” words you say and then they suspend you regardless of context or if the said words were censored by profanity filter which is enabled by default and most people wouldn’t even disable it. I could never figure out at first why people would be so butthurt over censored words not directed at anyone in particular, but now I’ve placed all the puzzle pieces together.

The reason I know it’s bullshit is because I got suspended right after the game ended with defeat and in the exact game where I said few “profane” words in an attempt to trigger it. There is no frigging way people in the game were butthurt over it since everyone was busy fighting and the context I used was joking how game mode (Mystery Heroes) is fucking us in the ass by giving us all the wrong heroes and giving enemy all the best ones.

Blizzard, you little cunt, stop pretending it was the players who caused the suspension by reporting, it’s your shitty automated system suspending people by counting fucking censored profane words and then you word the suspension message like it was the players who did it. That’s fucking disgusting bullshit to shift the blame on players to avoid backlash and complaints.