Windows 11 minimum requirements are absurd bullshit

I don’t know what the fuck Microsoft is thinking, but I’ve never seen something this retarded as minimum Windows 11 requirements. And believe me, I’ve seen some dumb shit in the past, including from yours truly, the Microsoft itself. Lets just dive in, shall we?

PROCESSOR

Per official Microsoft’s minimum requirements, if you have Ryzen 7 1800X, you won’t be able to use Windows 11. A very much modern 8 core, 16 threads CPU from 2017. Oh and if you’re Intel fan, don’t be cheering just yet… They sacked Skylake support entirely. If you have Core i7 7700k, well, fuck you too says Microsoft. Sure it has less cores than that Ryzen, but it was also launched in 2017 and it was hugely popular and still is because of higher clocks and was super popular among gamers. Oh, did I mention I have a Ryzen based laptop that runs Ryzen 5 2500U. Yeah, fuck me too. This particular system has everything, enough RAM and storage, it has TPM 2.0 module, but I can’t use Windows 11 on it because of “ancient” CPU. :/

RAM

They say 4GB is now a hard minimum. If you have less, fuck you. I happen to have a hybrid netbook with 2GB RAM. I don’t use it for anything demanding, but when I heard Windows 11 will have much better touch support, I was excited. Until I saw these ridiculous minimum requirements. And it’s not like they are recommended minimum. It’s hard limit. If it’s less it just won’t even install.  Fucking WHY? Also one would expect new modern operating system to be further streamlined and optimized, making it lighter, not fucking heavier and more demanding.

TPM Module

This one is a weird one and it confuses me even further than processor and RAM idiocies. All computers will now explicitly require TPM module. It’s a security feature mostly required and used in enterprise environment, but for some fucked up reason Windows 11 will require TPM Module to be present in a computer. And not just ANY. It has to be version 2.0. So, if you have TPM module on your CPU, but happens to be “only” version 1.2, well, fuck you too. And as cherry on top, pretty much all the consumer systems that have TPM 2.0 have it disabled in BIOS because consumers don’t need this shit. Good luck telling normies how to go into BIOS and dig some obscure feature they don’t understand and turn it on. Windows 11 is not even out yet and people are already going nuts around this. And scalpers are already hoarding discrete TPM modules ahead of Windows 11 launch.

Mandatory Microsoft account and connection to install

With Windows 11 Home, you’ll also absolutely be required to have Microsoft account and active internet connection in order to install Windows 11 Home. Again, shit we’ve been seeing in iterations how Microsoft tried to push retarded Microsoft Account during installation. Fuck you Microsoft, I don’t want to sync any of my shit to your cloud. Not documents, not files or photos and browsing history of me downloading Firefox via Edge. Stop shoving this shit down our throats, no one wants this shit. If anyone wants to sync all the crap, they can login later. And yes, I’m salty because for laptops I usually just buy one with Windows preinstalled and they almost always come with Home version. Which is fine for what I use it, but I certainly don’t want any of your stupid account shit.

Windows PC Health Check tool failure

Microsoft has a Windows PC Health Check tool that is suppose to tell you whether your system is Windows 11 compatible. Except the fucking thing doesn’t even work. I ran it on all my systems and it didn’t even launch on ANY of 3 systems I have. I later found you need to run stupid installer again and then it magically launches. If you try running its executable after it got installed just nothing happens. I already have so much confidence in Windows 11 when fucking tool to tell you if you can run it doesn’t work. And when you do manage to run it it just says compatible or not compatible. Who needs details like telling you what the fuck is not good enough lol. Just keep wondering lmao.

VERDICT

I honestly don’t know what the fuck Microsoft people are smoking. They sack 3/4 of what anyone would consider very much modern hardware from supporting Windows 11 and just expect you to buy new computer in current times when fucking everything is unobtainable and if you bought a brand new PC just 3-4 years ago, well tough luck, you need a new one otherwise you’ll be stuck with Windows 10. Then they’ll of course endlessly whine how poor adoption it has when they made that problem themselves. Microsoft has this weird idea to copy Apple at things yet they don’t have even 0.1% of shit Apple can pull off. Microsoft, you can’t fucking pull shit Apple has with M1 ARM chipset. Just look how long Microsoft has been struggling with ARM. It’s fucking hilarious. And now they want to make OS cool and fresh and fucking prevent users of god damn Ryzen 1800X from installing it? WHAT THE FUCK MICROSOFT!?

We used to joke how Linux will take Microsoft’s share next year for sure and has been going that way for last 20 years? Well, even though I’m an avid Windows user, I think this is the time. Huge number of users who aren’t strictly gamers will finally go with Linux. I mean, out of 3 systems that I have only 1 will be able to even install Windows 11. I might even bother enough to get Linux on my netbook which has been hugely problematic with screen rotation and touch control. But using an essentially dead OS (Windows 10) once Windows 11 will be up just kinda feels shitty.

Microsoft really needs to ease up on this shit. One thing is saying “these minimum requirements” are meant for decent experience but aren’t hard limitations. I’m well aware my netbook with Intel Atom and 2GB RAM won’t win any speed records and I don’t expect that from it. But I’d sure prefer to run Windows 11 on it with better touch control even if it’s just as slow experience as with Windows 10 now. I know that and have accepted that. Opposed to just blocking me from even being able to do that choice. Now, that’s shitty and absurd. And if they blocked really ancient stuff like dual cores from 10 years ago, fine, whatever. But not this shit they are pulling now with sacking of 3-4 years old CPU’s and forcing dumb TPM shit no one even needs outside Enterprise. Get your shit together Microsoft. I just started to like Windows 10 and have relatively positive opinion of Microsoft and Windows and then they pull this shit. I honestly had better opinion of Windows Vista than I have over Windows 11. And we all know how everyone hated Vista. I actually liked it. Given circumstances, I’m not so sure about Windows 11.

3 thoughts on “Windows 11 minimum requirements are absurd bullshit

  1. Yeah the min CPU requirements are there because of the TPM module. Skylake, Ryzen 1000 series and older CPUs don’t have the tpm 2.0 module integrated.
    My wild guess is that they are trying to use TPM for some DRM bullshit in the Windows store.
    And anybody using modified W11 iso files to bypass the requirements will not have access to the Windows store, game pass or some kind of similar bullshit.
    This is just my theory, i don’t even know if it’s possible to use TPM for DRM sooo I may be totally wrong.
    On the other hand Microsoft may be the biggest troll and just wants to be in the headlines for a few weeks and then release a statement that the requirements are only for OEM builds that want a shinny windows 11 certified sticker lol.

    Like

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