Alpha Protocol’s hacking is the most retarded thing I’ve seen in any game

From Max Payne 3’s roller coaster of retardation, here comes Alpha Protocol. What started as pretty interesting almost Deus Ex experience, quickly turned into a fucking rage fest on first hacking attempt.

Seriously, what absolute moron designed this shit? I don’t mind puzzles and I’ve seen many through years, but this one, this one is just pure distilled retardation.

A screen of flying numbers and letters and you need to spot some that don’t move and place them there. The one you move with keyboard is sort of a non issue as you can quickly tap it across with directional keys and confirm it, the issue with it is because some dumb twat thought controlling the second code with god damn mouse was a great idea. Not only the code isn’t under mouse cursor so you could quickly move it around and place it where you want it, no the fucking thing moves across the field like a slug that’s in no fucking hurry, with massive delay and it’s so wonky and inaccurate that before I move that shit to the right place, the code gets re-positioned already and I’m suppose to move this craptastic slow shit elsewhere? WHAT. THE. FUCK? Trying this dumb crap for like 10 attempts and I just can’t hack this dumb fuckery because it’s so impossibly clumsy.

Why couldn’t this dumb shit just be entirely controlled by keyboard? Move on, confirm it and then continue with second one. Or was this meant to be done simultaneously with both “controllers” or something? By who? Fucking cross eyed Flash Gordon who can go so fast to stop literal time? Or just two segments of keyboard, WASD and NUMPAD or something. Anything but this nonsense.

I was already excited I uncovered an old gem that was stuck in my Steam backlog for years just to have the experience totally fucked up with one simple “minigame”. Some say it’s much easier with a gamepad, but fuck me, I’m not playing this thing with no gamepad. God damn it.

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