Anita Sarkeesian the Supreme Butt Commander

At first I was having really hard time figuring out how to pour response to her idiotic video “Strategic Butt Covering” into a written form. Most Youtubers already did that through video responses (obviously), but since I’m not running Youtube channel, I have to work it out here. Damn you 1Mbit upload!

After figuring out the format for this response, I had to figure out the title. It has to be clickbaity and yet strong and empowering. After all, Anita Sarkeesian is the supreme commander when it comes to decisions what peasants can or cannot consume in games. This time in epic battle for butts freedom in games. She can take our male protagonists, but she will never take away female butts! Nevah!

Spending too much time designing butts

Lets start with her first usual target. Lara Croft…


Her objection is that developers spend too much time designing female butts. But she’s forgetting one HUGE thing. We all have butts. Unless she wants to play with a character that has an empty void below the hips area, you HAVE TO give character a butt. After all, it’s a human and as human, it needs to have a butt. I’m sure there may be people who are without butts, but we’re not going to venture down that lane…

Secondly, like so many times, she has yet again shown she has absolutely no clue about game design. She says developers have spent excessive time designing Lara’s butt. Reality is, only difficult thing about creating butts is the fact that in-game character has three joints (both legs + torso twist) in that part, meaning model has to be crafted in such a way that motion looks natural and you don’t get any polygon mesh distortions when character is moving into various poses or stances.

Developers spent far more time designing Lara’s eyes for a single game than they have ever spent designing her butt in all Tomb Raider games combined. Anita will of course say otherwise, but the fact is, eyes are far more complex and a lot more difficult to design. Unless if you don’t mind your character looking like a zombie which got bashed in the face with a shovel. They also spent more time designing her boots, her hair, her belt. Pretty much everything on her requires more design time than her butt. But hey, I have all the confidence in massive game design knowledge Anita has and that she knows what wireframe model even is.

Third person camera exists to observe butts


Anita is shocked that character in 3rd person games is in the middle of the screen where butt is centered for maximum male pleasure. Opposed to what, having Lara on the bottom left corner with camera focusing on the right side? Of course the character is in the middle of god damn screen. When you’re running and jumping around in this game (and you do that a lot in Tomb Raider) it is not only desirable, but highly preferable to have character in the middle of the screen so you are aware of your surroundings at any given time. That’s why camera also pans backwards when you run forward, so that your field of vision is wider, allowing you to see EVEN MORE of the butt, em, I mean world on all four sides of your playable character at high speed. Jesus, if Anita ever actually played a single bloody game as a gamer and not as a god damn perpetual whiner, she’d know that.

And out of all games, she picks Tomb Raider 1 game to whine about the camera angle. Ahaha, she picked the game that was the most criticized for it’s stupendously placed player camera view in history of all game series. And that trend continued through several Tomb Raider games. I’m quite confident that all of you gamers who played Tomb Raider games remember stupid camera deciding to focus on Lara’s face, her back at distance of 10cm so you couldn’t see past her body, her boobs, basically every single body part and angle other than at the gap you wanted to jump across. It was the never ending battle with the camera to have it where you needed it. Focused at the gap to jump across and no the gap between her butt cheeks. Of course it was never improved much until around Tomb Raider The Legend where they sort of got it right. Great selection there Anita, you really proved the point herešŸ˜„

Unrealistic sexualized clothing

She also had to brush against usual “sexualized” and revealing selection of clothing picked for Lara by the designers. Never mind she’s usually running across tropical locations where long thick coats aren’t preferable clothing of choice. When Lara is exploring cold locations, she’s wearing this…


Oh. That’s it? A casual winter jacket and brown pants? I am disappoint. I wanted her in a thin tank top and shorts. Oh well, maybe some other time.

Dat hip sway yo!

Next offender is Catwoman. Meow!


Anita is most offended by the hip sway done by the Catwoman. I mean, not that she’s being (or at least thinking she is) a cat and all that, but that hip sway though! Bitch, haven’t you ever seen nigga dudebros? You should see their hip sway as they walk down da hood!

Cinematic experience versus butts


Here, Anita is offended by the cinematic camerawork of the game designers. Here, camera pans from 3rd person overhead angle down between her legs to show enemies in front of the protagonist before you go into a battle. Because butt is in between, the camera captures her butt for a fraction of a second. Quickly, wash your eyes with bleach because you shall unsee that booty. Dear Anita, this is something gamers as well as developers call cinematic experience. Instead of just throwing you into the battle, there is some camera work to make things more dynamic. I mean, developers could focus on those trees on the left side, but that wouldn’t be all that interesting, wouldn’t it? I mean, compared to a camera panning that ends up showing enemies between her legs that is.Ā  And it wasn’t anything sexual at all, just a simple camera panning that stops at a point shown on image above. There was not even a pause or slowmotion while it was passing her ass. Omg, booooring.

Even more butts!

What, you thought we’d be over with Lara Croft and Tomb Raider? It’s just to perfect to attack!


“To say that Lara’s butt is being emphasized would be putting it mildly.” Yeah, this is actually what Anita said, transcripted from her video. For fucks sake, Lara is on a god damn boat, wearing swimsuit. Game wasn’t focusing on her ass, you were Anita. Yes, you were deliberately pointing camera at her butt. Something game NEVER does on it’s own because such camera angle is absolutely useless to put it mildly. Just because you focused ALL your attention on her butt, that doesn’t mean everyone does. And even though I find her body design appealing, I’ve never specifically focused camera at her butt. And I’m a straight cis white male. You know, the one that supposedly observes in-game female characters drooling like someone who has never heard of Pornhub before…


Or this scene where camera revolves around Lara while she is describing historical facts about the location while she is staring at the walls of the temple. Again, only thing Anita is concerned about is Lara’s butt. Never mind the fact that her butt is not in the center of the screen, that actual focus is on the temple ruins and that all this exists in a game for better CINEMATIC EXPERIENCE. For god sake, do you even know what cinematic experience is? Yes, they could be just showing the walls of the temple within the frame, but that’s something developers were doing in the early 90’s. This game is from 2008. Just like movies moved on from static recording of Charlie Chaplin getting a guy slipping on a banana peel to current heavy story driven drama or action movies with amazing camera work and effects with deep characters. This is no different. Technology moved on, game design has evolved and having Lara walking across newly explored temple, narrating history facts to what looks like audio recording device while camera is revolving around her is there not to maximize male pleasure and gaze at her butt, but to create an atmospheric cinematic experience to the player. It’s dynamic, it’s different than player controlled parts and mixes an interactive game with movie sequence, rendered with the game engine itself. Butt being there on the screen is just a convenient reason to bash something you clearly don’t understand. Am I right Anita? Of course I am. I know what I’m talking about.


He… Hehe… HehehehehešŸ˜€

The conspiracy of hidden male butts

At this point she throws so many examples of developers deliberately hiding male butts that I’m unable to post so many screenshots.

She seems to be the most offended by the fact that 3rd person camera work for male characters is focused above waistline, over the shoulder and never at the butt. Of course, this has to be patriarchal conspiracy to hide male butts and prevent women to have their pleasure in games. At this point I actually agree with Anita (yeah, it even surprised me), male characters having same 360Ā° camera view including their butts would be better from a gameplay point of view. So you’re not limited to a specific angle, but you could actually rotate camera anywhere you’d want without getting obstructed by some invisible waistline “off limits” zone. Just for the sake of having ability to observe at the world easier, nothing else.

Again, never mind all the boring costumes male protagonists wear. From long grey coat and baggy jeans in Watch Dogs to some generic looking armor in Binary Domain or another grey coat in Alan Wake. Even those that are kinda cool like the Assassin’s Creed 1 protagonist costume of the Order, guess what, women in that Order are wearing the exact same clothes. Sure they aren’t player controlled since they are NPC’s, but they wear exact same clothes. I could be talking out of my butt here, but last time I’ve played AC1, I’m pretty sure I’ve seen female assassins wearing same clothes. Hate me all you want, I’m not a huge fan of Ubisoft and I just can’t be bothered at this moment to re-play entire AC1 just to verify this.


Anita thinks this is intentional. The fact is, this is how men dress. Games just emulate what we observe in real world. Long shirts and sweaters, baggy pants, long plain coats, this is what men wear.

However, if you look at what women wear in real world, well, you’re in for some surprise (well, not really) that goes against entire Anita’s narrative. Women in real world mostly wear tight jeans, contouring tights, tight(er) training pants, tight(er) tank tops, T-shirts that follow the female body contour, even the pants that are somewhat baggy seem to always be tighter at the upper end and then loosen up as they go down the legs. It’s not an evil patriarchal design forced onto women by men. It’s what women like, what women want and it’s what women themselves design for other women.

So, to make things more interesting, developers add dynamic elements to male clothing. Like capes, wide strips that fall down the butt and move around when character is running. Or the moving coat in Max Payne. There is nothing appealing at looking skinny flat ass found on most men. That’s why developers just don’t bother. Because it’s pointless to waste time on something no one is interested in looking at. But coats, capes, various costume accessories that are moving dynamically as you move around, they add some flair to otherwise static and boring male characters. I mean, men usually have short hair as well which doesn’t move at all. All female characters usually have pony tails that move around, entire longer hair moving according to real physics or just strands of hair falling down the face and moving according to player character motion. Hell, I still remember part of a belt on Nilin’s dress in Remember Me that was swinging around according to her motion. tiny detail that I memorized because it someone actually spent time designing such tiny insignificant thing to look realistic in motion. Women have so much more dynamic features that make characters more lifelike and here is Anita bitching because the only things men can have dynamic and moving are freaking coats and capes that happen to cover their butts as a result. Seriously? Bits of fabric tend to fall down because that’s what gravity does. You may want to pick up a piece of fabric and move it around. You’ll notice that it always falls down. Behold Anita, physics! Games have it for years…


What feature on Batman is dynamic that would make him more lifelike? Not a single damn one. Everything on him is absolutely static. No hair that would move around, no breasts that would bounce around, no butt that would jiggle around, all poor Batman has is his black cape and here is Anita trying to take it away from him. No! Enough is enough.

Well, until I’ve stumbled across this image…


Look at that fine Spiderman’s ass. No cape, no strands of fabric strategically covering his butt. Spiderman is so progressive. Batman should learn a thing or two from him!

Women like other women’s butts

Anita was still rambling about butts like they are the only thing that makes up game characters, so I just skipped across this boring whining sequence and found out the video ended. Thank god, I was getting tired of watching her stupid bored face and listening to her annoying monotone voice reading from a teleprompter. Every time I hear her talk I remember Mika Hakkinen when he was talking in interviews. I have absolutely no clue why, I just do…

Anyway, Anita is again ignoring another very important fact. While a common misconception goes that men like to watch female butts only and women like to watch male butts only, the reality is a bit different. Men indeed like to watch female butts. They just look sexy. No denying of that. But here is a kicker. Women actually prefer butts of other women over male butts. It’s the same phenomenon with breasts that was also tested by Mythbusters (S14E05, Laws of Attraction episode). Both sexes preferred larger breasts, but women actually tipped Kari more than men did when she was “wearing” larger breasts. And exact same thing goes for butts. Rounder, sexier butt will be more noticed by other women than men. They may not show it in such an obvious way as men do… I don’t know why is it this way and what kind of thing women are internalizing in this case, it’s just how it is.

Fiction, do you even…

Oh and lastly, so much hatred and blood shed over some fictional virtual sexy women. It’s all fiction. If game developers decide Lara to run half naked across Arctic, then so be it. If they decide to dress a dude in a long winter coat while placing the game setup into summer time LA, then so be it. If they design her to have a jiggly ass that is perfectly focused in the middle of the screen, then so be it again. When someone is almost pathologically obsessed with depiction of fictional in-game characters like Anita Sarkeesian is, I’d ask them to visit a psychiatrist. Seriously. Just play the damn games, enjoy them and stop dissecting them. If you’ll do this, you’ll just end up looking like Anita. This morbid, bitter person that can’t find joy in anything because everything is sexist, everything is oppressive, everything is misogynistic and everything is patriarchy. It’s just stupid.

And that super annoying cherry picking just makes you look like an absolute hypocrite. I’d probably even be willing to have a dialogue to potentially change games, change characters, their appearance and behavior. But when you see how dishonest Anita really is and how all she actually cares about is her agenda to portray all women as these helpless perpetual victims and to scam more funds from people by just flat out lying, you just can’t take her seriously at all.

Only reason why I even respond to her propaganda bullshit is because I sure as hell won’t just stand by and be quiet while she’s wrecking hobby loved by millions of boy, girls, men and women, just the way it is. Every time i say t myself, this is the last time. But I just can’t be quiet. I can’t and I won’t be. I’ve grown up with games and I want others to experience them in the same uncensored non-puritanical way as I have.

2 thoughts on “Anita Sarkeesian the Supreme Butt Commander

  1. I’d write you a proper response, but I’m too busy laughing. Take heart, she’s not truly wrecking a hobby loved by millions. Seriously, butts are always going to be with us and you simply cannot shame people into giving them up. Also, anytime she’d like to go after Kim Kardashian or Beyonce for their more feminist obsession with exploiting butts, she may.


  2. Her picking very vintage Lara Croft’s posterior to harp about would be like criticizing NASA for the Gemini program.


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