Idiotic game designs

Just wanted to start playing Dirt 2 that I bought ages ago and decided to give it a go now. First i had to deal with moronic GFWL aka Games for Windows Live. It was problematic before and it’s still a massive pain in the ass. It took me like half an hour reinstalling the thing because the one that came with Dirt 2 was outdated and stupid enough not to be able to auto update itself. Link inside it was of course dead so I had to google for it. Then entering passwords, searching why it’s crapping out all the time, finally confirming agreements, raging some more because it was constantly refusing to download the friggin profile with error 0x8007065b, finally got it working after restarting the system. Yay, fuckin 1 hour of fiddling with all the shit in this world, just to get one fuckin game to work.

Game client on game client with game client…

…if it was a pirated game i’d be playing it already 59 minutes ago. But since I’m honest and have purchased it, i have to deal with all this shit. gee, thanks guys! Whoever thought sticking 10 layers of some proprietary clients into every game was a smart idea should be shot in the face. Same applies to Ubisoft’s Uplay. Isn’t Steam enough? No, it has to use another layer of shit. Valve should make it mandatory for them to remove all this crap before they can even sell the games on Steam.

Intros that can’t be skipped…

Now to the game that I finally managed to actually start. It started, with unskippable intro. What moron thought we have or even want to watch the fuckin logos every single fuckin time we start the game? And this isn’t something new, it has been a trend for several years now and it makes me wonder WHY THE FUCK!? What was wrong with the old system from pre year 2000 PC games where you could hit SPACE or ESC and skip all the fuckin Intel, AMD, NVIDIA, game developer/publisher logos and all the other shit you don’t care about and get on with the game already!? No, you’ll sit still and watch the fuckin logos go around for 2 minutes. Or if you have to make them mandatory, make them just the very first time you start the game and then you can skip them with SPACE or ESC keys.

Forced introductions…

This trend isn’t that old… Haven’t seen it in a lot of games before, but I did in Dirt 2 and in latest Need for Speed: Rivals and it pissed me off hard. I’m talking about the game introducing you to the world developers “invented” and served to you. If it’s some hardcore niche game with gazillion controls and super complex gameplay, fair enough, but still, make it start when you actually enter the god damn main menu, set the graphic settings, view modes, your tags, controls. And when you click NEW GAME, show me the introduction. But no, after watching fuckin intro logos for 2 minutes, you go straight into the introduction part which, of course can’t be skipped. You get the ability to control the car for 5 seconds and the whole thing stops and a nice lady or sir starts explaining you how to drive a car. And that you need to turn sirens on to start chasing someone. And after explaining to you for 30 seconds, you get control over the car for another 5 seconds just to be kicked in the balls with yet another explanation. WHY do they fuckin do this!? All racing games play the same, with arrow keys or WASD. Do they really expect there are people who actually never ever played a racing game ANYWHERE before they started THEIR game!? My first games were Lotus 3, Test Drive 3. They were played with arrow keys and i found out myself how to race around. And guess what, 24 years later, they still play fuckin the same. And when I introduced my little cousins to the world of racing games, I showed them how to play. The rest they learned themselves. Why does it all have to be served on silver platter like we are all retarded or something!? People do learn things on their own you know…

Game won’t start full screen

The game starts, but in windowed mode. Yeah, I’m back to Dirt 2 again. After raging over unskippable shit and finally got into the video settings, just to be shocked there is no “Full screen mode” option. Surely you have to be fuckin kidding. They roll over a half an hour introduction, but they expect people to know Alt+Enter toggles between windowed and full screen mode. Don’t be a fuckin lazy twat and make sure the game starts in full screen mode by default and that you have a friggin simple toggle in video settings to switch between both modes.

Illogical menus…

Ok, fine, they wanted to make a 3D menu in Dirt 2 where you’d have a feeling you’re walking around the racing set. I had to actually Google how to exit the fuckin game. And no, it didn’t stop there. People online said you have to go to your trailer, move around to the sleeping compartment to see the QUIT option. Just to find out I can’t do that because I’m being held hostage in the fuckin introduction part with no way of exiting the game, because the game won’t let me go there in the trailer. I could Alt+F4 just to be forced to watch the intro and introduction again when I’d start the game again. So I had to start the game, start racing and just quite the fuckin event and finally be able to exit this crap.


The verdict in short is MMMMMMONSTER INSANITY (an obvious reference to UT99 game for anyone who cares, but doesn’t remember). Can you imagine how furious I was after one and a half hour of fiddling with the fuckin game just to taste exactly no gameplay what so ever!? Just let me play the fuckin thing already, I bought the game to play, if I’d want a prerecorded content, I’d go into the fuckin cinema. For fucks sake. No wonder kids these days have zero logic skills if all games extensively try to dumb them down to the level where even single cell organisms could understand t game mechanics. STOP FUCKIN DOING THIS!!!! Let people use their brains for a change and stop treating us all like idiots. Geez.

Sorry, but I just had to vent this, because I thought I’ll go insane. There, now I feel better. Will go and play Natural Selection 2 instead, just to stay sane…


2 thoughts on “Idiotic game designs

  1. Only problem I had with GFWL was for halo 2 for vista running on a W7 computer, it wouldnt work with the packaged GFWL so I had to download a more recent copy, the problem was it wouldnt download and install. I finally found one that was a offline installer so nothing needed to be downloaded which finally installed right but then could n’t sign into my account because I had disabled a service I didnt think I would ever use and spent hours browsing microsofts live website to find troubleshooting options. I did finally get it to run but it was more of a hassle than I thought it would of been.


  2. totally agree about DIRT 2 and other insanely idiotic game publishers’ forced logo/intro delivery: absolutely dispise it


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s